CHEN: how do we feel about the alleged remake of my fair lady—screenplay penned by emma thompson and possibly starring carey mulligan? i googled this and found articles at different times being like “thompson would love for hugh laurie to be higgins!” “thompson thinks hugh grant would be perfect for my fair lady.” latest is “emma thompson thinks firth is brilliant for remake.” so… basically she’ll take any tall, brunette, slightly bashful brit movie star?
BALL: this would be awesome. except i can’t decide if i love or don’t love carey mulligan. she gives me uber-petulant, sullen, withdrawn, disdainful vibes. and she’s impinging on roles i want keira knightley to get. then again, i looooved her in An Education. i wish she seemed like that in real life.
also, DEF hugh laurie for that role. he’d be way better at crotchety grump. hugh grant is too foppish/easygoing. he’d be good as the colonel pickering, the good-natured, well-oiled BFF of henry higgins.
i wonder if they’ll call it MFL or Pygmalion? i feel like calling it MFL is sort of blasphemous. but i trust emma thompson to do the right thing
CHEN: hmm. bad news bears for you, i’m afraid. the most recent articles have emma thompson beckoning colin firth. this reminds me of that episode of the west wing where they’re trying to get some senator on a commission and he keeps saying no, so they just announce that he’s on it and he can’t refuse publicly because that would be embarrassing. except… not sure how well the strategy is working for emma, since she’s great but no jed bartlett.
i forgot about your overwhelming love of keira knightley and her weird underbite jaw thing. apparently she WAS cast in this (i vaguely remember reading about this and being slightly horrified, sorry) but the movie’s been taking so long to go into production that she pulled out. maybe pre-production will drag on another two years and carey’s ingenue bloom will wilt, and they’ll be forced to cast another Brit It girl and you won’t have to resolve your issues about her petulant pixie-ness.
ok i have officially read all the internet rumors on the internet about this and will now go fill out my taxes to balance the froth/substance scale of my morning.
BALL: colin firth = imminently acceptable hugh laurie proxy. perchance he’s hoping that an MFL reboot gets as many oscars as the original, and he can finally collect? i really felt the pain for his losing out to jeff “wake and bake” bridges this year. not that bridges didn’t deserve it… but i imagine that when you not only act your Brit butt off, but also get skinny, hot and tan at the shrill behest of tom ford, you expect a liiiiittle gravy? he looks like he hasn’t eaten anything but zone bars since late 2008. google image him from “girl in the pearl earring,” he’s the puffiest vermeer ever
CHEN:hahahaha. “puffiest vermeer ever” is the name of the band i will never start but we’ll just get t-shirts made with his face on them.
also i don’t think tom ford is shrill gay. i feel like he would just purr/judge the shit out of you and be suuuuuuper mean, but in a slightly whisper-y way.